Sunday.

My love just called me. I am so happy. I needed to hear his voice. Earlier I was feeling down because I haven't heard from him in a few days. I really, really miss him. I try not to sound like a total cheeseball, but I cannot help it. LOL.

My heart is missing it's other half.

It was just so amazing to talk to him. I love him soooo much. It has been hard since he left. But...him coming home and being reunited is what keeps me going. We are both hanging in there.

I know he gets super busy and the whole time difference makes it difficult to contact anyone...I understand completely. I am not going to lie and say I am okay all the time. I understand, I really do...but sometimes I get sad when I don't hear from him. I worry and I miss him greatly.

He said that one of the reasons he loves me is that I have patience. I am waiting for him...being with him again will be absolutely amazing. It is hard though, I have my boohoo moments. Once we make it through this deployment we can make it through anything.

I am blessed to have him in my life.

I love Joshua M. Miller


xoxo

Song Lyrics: I Finally Found Someone

Sung by: Barbara Streisand & Bryan Adams


I finally found someone
That knocks me off my feet
I finally found the one
That makes me feel complete
It started over coffee
We started out as friends
It's funny how from simple things
The best things begin

This time is different
And it's all because of you
It's better than it's ever been
'Cause we can talk it through
My favorite line was
"Can I call you sometime"
It's all you had to say
To take my breath away

This is it, oh I finally found someone
Someone to share my life
I finally found the one
To be with every night
'Cause whatever I do
It's just got to be you
My life has just begun
I finally found someone

Did I keep you waiting? I didn't mind
I apologize, baby that's fine
I would wait forever just to know you were mine

You know I love your hair
Are you sure it looks right?
I love what you wear
Isn't it too tight?
You're exceptional
I can't wait for the rest of my life

This is it, oh I finally found someone
Someone to share my life
I finally found the one
To be with every night
'Cause whatever I do
It's just got to be you
My life has just begun
I finally found someone
And whatever I do
It's just got to be you
My life has just begun
I finally found someone

--------------------

I finally found the love of my life - JMM



xoxo,
Jesse

=)

Ikea was a bust. Too expensive for a temporary bed.

----------

My love will be home soon. I cannot wait. I miss him so much. Sometimes when I'm just in my room chillin' like a villain..all of a sudden I just become super sad. Half of my heart is away at sea. I love him so much.

He is always on my mind and in my heart.

xoxo,
Jesse

Break time.

I have been neglecting this blog...and I said to myself that I would keep it updated.

I need to spruce this blog up this weekend after I take my Spanish final.

I totally failed on finishing the 30 day challenge. Hahaha. Oh well.

I will actually blog this weekend. Scouts honor.

xoxo

Day Sixteen: Write about your relationship status.

My heart belongs to the most amazing and wonderful man - the love of my life, my soulmate, my companion, my bestfriend - Joshua Matthew Miller.

He is in the US Navy and is currently on deployment. He left September 11th, 2010. I am proud of him and what he is doing for this country, along with all of the troops. He is amazing in every way. I love him for who he is and what he stands for.

I prayed to God to place my heart in the right mans hands, a man that will cherish my heart and take care of it forever. I prayed for a man that loves God as much as I love God. A man that is willing to wait for me because I made I promise to God, my Mother and myself to save myself until marriage. I wear my purity/promise ring everyday that represents my promise.

My prayers were answered when I met my Joshy and he said to me that he prayed for me as well.

Now I wear a new promise ring that symbolizes the love Joshua and I have. When he said “YOU are worth waiting for…” my heart was instantly his.

[The other purity/promise ring I had before the promise rings Joshy and I got…I put away in a safe place. My Mother gave me that promise/purity ring on my 21st birthday.]

God has blessed me with the love of my life, the man that has my heart forever. I love him with every beat of heart to my very soul.

xoxo

Day Fifteen: Write about something you worry about a lot.

I worry about the future.

I know I should not worry about the future because I am living the life God has planned for me.

I have to let go and let God.

I made paths/plans for the future to take, like if a certain situation happens then I'll take this path and if something else happens then I will take that path. But I have come to realize that the only path I must take is towards God and His Love. Then from there God will lead me in the right direction, the right path that is meant for me.

I need to stop worrying and put my faith and trust in Him completely.

GOD IS GOOD.

xoxo

Day Fourteen: Favorites...

Post your favorite book, favorite movie, favorite band, and favorite food.

Book - THE BIBLE.

Movie - The Little Mermaid

Band/Singer - I cannot pick just one. I LOVE MUSIC. 'Nuff said.

Food - Mmm food. Hahaha. Lemme see...red velvet cupcakes. YUMMO!

Day Thirteen: What are your plans for the future? Far and near.

I have so many plans, all leading to different destinations in life. But my plans are just...plans. I have let go of these plans and I have placed my life in God's hands, it is only He that knows what my future holds. I am just taking it one day at time. I am walking the path God has created for me. Like I have said in previous entries...where I am and how I got here in life is where I am supposed to be. Where I will be in the future will be according to God's plan. I walk on this path of life with Him in my heart. I am excited because I know whatever is ahead will be worth the journey.

Blessed.

xoxo

Day Twelve: Write about the worst day of your life.

Hmmm...the worst day of my life is probably the day I got into a car accident. My poor Altima died that day. I thank God that I am here because it was a major imapact. I fell asleep at the wheel. I honestly do not remember from when I excited the freeway to the concrete wall I crashed into. Major pain for a few weeks after the accident. So yah that would probably one of the worst days of my life. I have a few other worse days...but it involves certain people and I do not want to name any names. LOL.

My 26th Birthday.

Yesterday I turned 26 years old!! Here is a pic with my darling twin aunties. They came over to hangout with me. I love them!

Ugh.

I hate feeling so down. I try not to feel so sad, but I cannot help it! It totally sucks. Ugh.

A couple of things have been running through my mind...

- My honeybee, Joshy, I miss him so much. I really miss him. I felt like crying today. Gotta love being a pro at faking happy once in a while when I am really feeling sad. No one wants to see a sad panda. LOL.

- Feeling unaccomplished. Yay for being almost done with school...only three more months left and I will finally have my BA. But, afterwards? I DON'T KNOW!! I do not want to be at my current place of employment forever. There is so much more I know I can do other than be glued to a computer for 8 hours. My lovely cousin passed the RN boards and is now officially an RN. I feel like I am so far behind in life [career wise] that it makes me sad. I am by all means not jealous. I am so proud of her. She worked so hard and God guided her through all of it. Her accomplishment made me think about how I haven't accomplished anything yet. I know we all go through different motions, and it is all up to God. I know this. I get sad about it, and the next day I am okay. I cannot regret the choices I have made because where I am in life today, is where I am supposed to be. I am okay. I will be okay. God is here. I have faith in Him.

- Insecurities. UGH! I am still insecure about my body. I am trying so hard to love myself. It is a learning process mos def. One day at a time. But golly geez its tough. After losing 70 lbs I should be content. But it is not enough. Ayyyeee...I hate having fat brain. LOL.

- WORK! I am over it. I am thankful to have a job and a steady paycheck. I thank God for it. But the work sucks. LOL. I have work ADD. I need something new to learn and do. Hahaha.

Okay...my mind is clear now. Got it all out of my head. HAH!

xoxo

Day Eleven: Write about the best day of your life.

Hmmm this is a tough one. There have been so many best days of my life. LOL. I cannot just narrow it down to one! Okay so...one of the best days of my life is the day my darling Joshy and I officially became exclusive. =)

MmmHmmm the day the love of my life asked me to be his girlfriend is one of the best days of my life.

xoxo

Day Ten: What’s the meanest thing anyone has ever said to you?

Gosh..the meanest things that have been said to me all were about my weight. It is hard to ignore stuff like that.

What else? Oh yah...

Well...there is something a family member said about me to other family members that hurt me...a lot.

I will not name names.

I believe in Karma =)

Day Nine: What’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to you?

The nicest/most sweetest thing ever said to me was said by my honey, Joshy.

On our very first date we had lunch at a park and talked for hours. I told him everything, including being a virgin and waiting until I am married because it is something that I promised to my Mother, God and myself.

We talked and talked and it was amazing.

After telling him about waiting he said to me, "You are worth waiting for."

We have been together ever since.

xoxo

Day Eight: How do you feel today?

I feel great...amazingly wonderful! Full of sunshine and happiness. LOL. I am a total cheeseball and I know it.

I am extremely happy. I am deeply in love with the love of my life and he loves me. God is great. I am blessed with wonderful family and friends. And God has blessed me with an amazing man.

Where I am and how I got here in life is where I am supposed to be...all according to Gods plan. Truly blessed.

xoxo

Day Seven: Post your favorite quote.

I have so many favorite quotes because each one means something to me. I cannot pick just one. Sooo...I am going to post a quote from JRN (me!). LOL!

“To be in love is a wonderful feeling and to feel the love in return from across the ocean is absolutely amazing.”

I have fallen in love, I am in love and I will always love my Joshua <3

xoxo

Major Sad Face.

I miss my Joshy so much. I am a sad panda. I want him home with me =(

Almost there! My baby will be home soon. I love him so much <3

Day Six: When was the last time you were truly honest with someone? What was it about?

Hmmm not too long ago actually. Joshy had said something in an email that made me feel very insecure. I am still dealing with my insecurities and he totally made me sad. So I told him via email (since all of this happened via email) how I felt and he responded and apologized. He knew exactly how I felt. So it all worked out. I am so happy we can be totally open and honest with each other. I love him so much <3

Day Five: Write about a period of time in your life where things were not so good.

Well, 2009 was probably not the best year for me. I cannot point out a specific time in my life that wasn't so good because I had a lot of downs in 2009. It's all in the past and I do not regret anything. So let's not dwell shall we? Haha.

So long bad times and hello wonderful days ahead. =)

New Year!

I got a wonderful wake up call from my honeybee earlier. Gosh he is amazing. I love him with all my heart. MmmHmm.

I hope eRRyone had a fantastic NYE!!

I spent it with family and it was tons of fun. Lots of laughs, smiles and love. Great way to end 2010 and an even wonderful way to start 2011.

I was kind of sad...my honey and I did not have our first New Years kiss. We won't have it next year either. He is leaving on another deployment on December 2011. So when he gets home in either March or April we are going to have to make up for all the holidays. LOL.

Oooh he said he has a surprise for me when he gets home!! I wonder what it is? He said was that all I need to know is that he loves me very much and that I will cry of sheer happiness. Hahaha. Dangnabit I even tried being super annoying and he still would not tell me. LOL. I cannot wait until he comes home...I miss my guy!

Well, tis time for me to grab a cup of coffee and then workout. Getting geared up for a new year!!

New year, new month, new day - time to make your mark! Live it up, make a change and enjoy every minute!

xoxo,
Jesse