Ugh.

I hate feeling so down. I try not to feel so sad, but I cannot help it! It totally sucks. Ugh.

A couple of things have been running through my mind...

- My honeybee, Joshy, I miss him so much. I really miss him. I felt like crying today. Gotta love being a pro at faking happy once in a while when I am really feeling sad. No one wants to see a sad panda. LOL.

- Feeling unaccomplished. Yay for being almost done with school...only three more months left and I will finally have my BA. But, afterwards? I DON'T KNOW!! I do not want to be at my current place of employment forever. There is so much more I know I can do other than be glued to a computer for 8 hours. My lovely cousin passed the RN boards and is now officially an RN. I feel like I am so far behind in life [career wise] that it makes me sad. I am by all means not jealous. I am so proud of her. She worked so hard and God guided her through all of it. Her accomplishment made me think about how I haven't accomplished anything yet. I know we all go through different motions, and it is all up to God. I know this. I get sad about it, and the next day I am okay. I cannot regret the choices I have made because where I am in life today, is where I am supposed to be. I am okay. I will be okay. God is here. I have faith in Him.

- Insecurities. UGH! I am still insecure about my body. I am trying so hard to love myself. It is a learning process mos def. One day at a time. But golly geez its tough. After losing 70 lbs I should be content. But it is not enough. Ayyyeee...I hate having fat brain. LOL.

- WORK! I am over it. I am thankful to have a job and a steady paycheck. I thank God for it. But the work sucks. LOL. I have work ADD. I need something new to learn and do. Hahaha.

Okay...my mind is clear now. Got it all out of my head. HAH!

xoxo